Defensiveness is a coping mechanism used to deflect and protect. When your partner turns everything into an attack and begins an argument it's because they are seeing your words through the lense of their own wounds. For example, Ash is acting as someone with a wound of insecurity which gets triggered by her partner mentioning something that involves her. She takes this as criticism and immediately tries to regain her self esteem by deflecting and turning it around on her partner. She uses compe

Responding to Projection in Relationships: Tips & Advice